Something’s missing here

I wish I could distance myself from some people. And their drama. And the troubles they bring on themselves just because they’re that brainless.

I don’t know how people can stand to live like they do. What is it about this lifestyle that is so compelling? They are a real headache to deal with and I usually have to walk away from it before I lose my temper.

Maybe I should start taking notes in front of these drama queens and tell them I’m submitting it for some reality TV show or soap opera.

The cast of characters include a dude who thinks he’s a Daniel Boone-type and traps animals, legally and illegally. He even wears a coon skin hat. We try to stay clear of him as much as possible. One time we were on a four-lane divided highway just driving along when Daniel Boone pulls alongside us and starts staring at us. We are trying to make a lane change into the other lane because there is a semi stopped in our lane up ahead. Daniel Boone also slows down. We slow down some more almost coming to a stop wondering when dumb-dumb is going to get a clue about our situation and let us get into his lane before we hit the stopped semi (not that we would). Finally dumb-dumb lets us in his lane and off they go, leaving us fuming.

He’s had some trouble with the law to say the least. My favorite story is when he was pepper-sprayed by the police, twice. As the story is told by the in-laws, he was just minding his own business and doing nothing illegal (that just means he didn’t get caught, so it wasn’t illegal). The police come along and start harassing him about nothing but he ends up getting pepper-sprayed anyway, for nothing. And as another in-law likes to tell it, “They knew he was allergic to pepper-spray, so they sprayed him again.” Apparently he got angry and put up a fight. The allergic reaction to the pepper-spray was that he messed his pants something awful. Aww. I just feel sorry for the officers that had to put him in the squad car and take him to jail. As a result of his doing nothing illegal he had to take anger management classes after that.

Another character is the Rock Star in-law. He thinks the police harassed him because he looked like a rock star. He had long blond hair and wore tight pants. He likes to drink. He likes to drink and drive. He lives in complete filth. The neighbors have threatened to turn him in to the health department. Of course his mother thinks the neighbors are out to get her boy and are all conspiring against him. So she cleaned up his place for him and moved in. When the Rock Star along gets tired of trashing the other place he moves back into the cleaned-up house and then went that gets filthy again, the cleaning-moving cycle starts all over again. Wonderful maid service to have, especially when it’s free.

Miss Drama Queen (the family’s head drama queen) feels that since she’s young and knows it all, everyone should focus their attention on her whenever she’s around.  I refuse to give her any attention but after her repeated insults to my children, there may come a time when she is going to need a good talking to. I’ll have to bring a sign, “Drama-Free Zone,” and a can of drama-repellent with me.